


Lights

by silverivy13



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Lights, Loneliness, Love at First Sight, M/M, Spoilers, Victor falls in love first, Victor's POV, kinda not canon but also kinda canon, takes place during episode 10 and 11
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-15
Updated: 2016-12-15
Packaged: 2018-09-08 16:51:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8852740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverivy13/pseuds/silverivy13
Summary: Viktor always had a light burning inside of him. This is a progression of that light.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I'm gonna be honest, I wrote this because I'm sobbing over episode 11 and wanted to write things from Viktor's POV (in my opinion). This is the 29th time I've played "The Theme of King JJ" in a row and my heart is still broken over everything from that episode. I needed an outlet and this is what happened (sorry if it sucks)

Life had always been easy for Viktor. From the very start, he had been given the world if he so desired. And he had never thought of himself as special.

_ ‘Surely this is how it is for everyone. It’s not like things are different for me. Maybe some people are just better at handling things than others. Maybe I’m just better than them. It doesn’t mean I’m special or different or anything like that. Surely not.’   _ A sixteen-year-old Viktor thought as he skated onto the ice, the pure image of elegance and grace. Tight lavender spandex hugged his body, with just enough see-through areas to tantalize the imagination and catch the eyes of the audience - not that he needed any extra help with that.

A few minutes later and his performance was done, unsurprisingly met with a standing ovation from the audience, cheers erupting from the stands with enough force to shake the rink. Waving, Viktor smiled to himself.

_ ‘See? Nothing to it. It’s simple. I really am just better.’ _

It wasn’t just ice skating that he could do, it was anything really. During school he always had hordes of girls trailing after him, listening to his beck and call. His grades were always perfect and his teachers adored him. At home, he was a respected eldest child, an example for everyone around him as the perfect son his parents loved so dearly. There was no one who could compete with him, no one who could put up a fight, no one who even came close to the shining light that was Viktor Nikiforov, a million-watt volt that lit up even the darkest of nights.

_ ‘I can feel it. Today’s the day.’  _ Viktor thought as strode down the hall, twenty-one-years-old and ready to claim victory at his first ever Grand Prix Finals. He knew he could do it. He was ready. He had been ready for this all his life, and now it was simply a matter of performing. Cheers echoed in his ears as he entered the rink, a smirk crossing his face as he threw a wave over his shoulder with a wink. They all loved him and he knew it.  _ ‘Time to shine.’ _

…

Viktor sighed as he fingered the gold medal hanging from his neck with a sigh. Glancing outside, he could see snow beginning to fall through the window of his highrise hotel room in Barcelona. Yet another victory - his fifth. Five Grand Prix Finals and five wins. Such a thing was unprecedented. Unheard of. Impossible. Impossible for anyone, that is, except Viktor Nikiforov, the man who could do anything. Viktor was getting pretty tired of hearing that.

His first victory at 21 had felt amazing. His second felt good as well, but as for his third, fourth, fifth… They had all just gotten more and more… hollow. The more he shone, the more he sunk. As people craved him more and more, he fell further and further into the recesses of fame and fortune… and boredom. And loneliness. He could astound and amaze others, but what about himself? What was the point of skating if there was no one he could skate with? If there was no one who could amaze him?

He shook his head, trying to clear out the negative thoughts. He had just won after all. He should celebrate his victory, even if it didn’t feel like one. Even if it felt empty. He had an image to uphold, fans to please, a world to grasp. A world already at his fingertips.

And as his light shone brighter and brighter, it grew smaller and smaller.

…

“Be my coach! Viktor!” Yuri cried as he hugged Viktor tightly, a wide flush spread across his face, half from the alcohol and half from the exercise he had just done. As Viktor stared down at him, he realized that that boy’s blush must be contagious, because he could feel his face heating with every passing second.

His words echoed in Viktor’s head as a bead of sweat dripped down his temple and a small gasp escaped his lips as he realized: this series of events had been… unprecedented. They had been a surprise. A surprise. He, Viktor Nikiforov, was  _ surprised _ . And all because of a young Japanese man who was hopelessly drunk and shamelessly humping him.

Thoughts shot through his mind like bullets, but the biggest one screaming at him was ‘ _ Who?’ _ Who was this boy that could surprise him? Who was it that just stole his heart in a sheer five minutes? Who was the one that made him feel full? Whose heart was beating louder right now? And who was it that was happier at this very moment?

And a single spark flickered deep in the recesses of his soul. A spark that had been on the verge of dying out.

…

“So… Tell me something for good luck.” Yuri said as he finished sliding the thin golden ring onto Viktor’s finger. Viktor stared at Yuri for a moment, the Asian boy beginning to blush embarrassedly in the cold winter night. A thin smile crossed Viktor’s face as he thought of what to say.

“Sure,” he replied as he took Yuri’s hand in his own. He fingered the golden ring as he rolled it onto Yuri’s finger with ease, staring into the boy’s dark eyes and giving him the most gentle smile that was possible for a man like him. This was just like his little katsudon, nervously begging for words of encouragement from a man who had never needed to be encouraged. Viktor knew Yuri idolized him and knew there was no way he could let this boy down. Not when he was depending on him. But who depended on the other more was the real question, and it was one that Viktor didn’t quite know the answer to yet.

“I’ll say something you won’t even have to think about.” Viktor hoped that Yuri would understand what he was saying. The boy had a special skill at twisting the words of others into things far worse than their intention. “Tomorrow, show me the skating that you can honestly say you liked the best.”

That was all Viktor wanted from Yuri now. He wanted him to be happy, as happy as Viktor was when that boy drunkenly danced his way into Viktor’s heart. He wanted him to do his best for himself, not for Viktor. And he wanted him to win - but now it was for more than just the title of Grand Prix Champion. Now it was because, for the first time in a long time, he could feel excitement and anxiety and nerves and joy - a kind of joy he had never experienced before in his entire life. A joy that was given to him by one foolish little katsudon. He wanted Yuri to win because Yuri had given him so much in the past year that he no longer knew what to do to repay him. There was nothing Viktor could give that would convey his feelings any more than this simple gold ring could. The best he could offer was his help and his guidance to victory.

As Yuri replied enthusiastically, Viktor smiled. He could feel Yuri’s glowing happiness within him. Yuri had shown his so many new things and had relit the fire that had burned out a year ago. Viktor’s light was stronger than ever, and all so it could shine a spotlight on his precious protege. All he could do was hope, hope that this boy was everything Viktor knew he was, hope that the rest of the world could see that, and hope that Yuri was something that would never leave him.

…

As Viktor watched Yuri drop to his knees on the ice, all he wanted was to run to him. He wanted to jump the wall and rush to him and throw his arms around him and cry with him. Yuri had no reason to be this upset and he wanted to tell him that as soon as possible, but as Yuri slowly stood and began to skate over to him, Viktor knew that words of praise weren’t wanted right now. He knew that Yuri was thinking he had failed. He was thinking that the skating he showed was something he could never be happy with, and that he had let Viktor down. That wasn’t true, of course. Viktor knew how hard Yuri had practiced the quadruple flip. He knew how low Yuri’s success rate was with the flip, even just in practice. He knew the fact that Yuri made enough rotations and hadn’t fallen showed amazing progress. They both knew. But it wasn’t enough. And they both knew that as well.

All he could do was reach out to Yuri as he neared the wall of the rink - only to have Yuri skate past him in shame. Viktor was shocked, frozen in place in the frosty rink. Surely Yuri had seen him. He wasn’t this upset was he? He turned around to see Yuri waiting for him just a little ahead, his back hunched, shoulders shaking. As Viktor began to walk towards him, he saw Yuri turn his head only slightly, just enough to meet eyes with Viktor. He could see Yuri’s lip quiver, see the tears the boy was holding back in his eyes, and in a flash, he was by his side, arms around him as the boy quavered in place, soft whimpers echoing through his lips. All Viktor could do was hug him tighter and hope that the boy didn’t break down right there.

…

Viktor snickered as Yuri told about Celestino and Minako. “Wow. Best to keep our distance.” He said liltingly as he imagined them together, only to come to the conclusion that they were a match made in Heaven. As he rubbed his dripping hair with the towel, he snuck a glance at Yuri to see that the boy was smiling and staring at his phone. He was glad to see that Yuri had cheered up some since earlier that day.

“By the way, Yuri… what did you want to talk to me about?” He asked, thoughts swirling in his mind as he wondered just what it could be about.

“Right.” Yuri replied, looking up to meet Viktor’s eyes. Almost instantly, Viktor could tell something was wrong. He had spent enough time with the boy to know when things weren’t right. All thoughts almost instantly went to the Grand Prix. Surely Yuri wasn’t thinking of giving up. Those words shouldn’t even exist in his repertoire. It must be something else. But no matter what it was, it was something that made Yuri seem so much smaller than he was. He seemed defeated, but at the same time determined. Viktor wasn’t sure he liked that determination in his eyes. It looked far too broken.

“After the Final…”

Viktor didn’t want to see Yuri looking broken like that. He wanted to see him smiling and happy, like he was yesterday when he gave Viktor the ring. After spending so much time with him, Viktor had gotten to know him. He knew that Yuri was fragile and delicate, but also strong and determined. He didn’t give up, and Viktor loved him for that. Yes, love. The engagement rings had confirmed it for him. Yuri was something precious - something Viktor could no longer do without in his life. There was no way he would give him up now. Viktor was sure that he wanted to stay with this boy for the rest of his life.

“...let’s end this.”

Yuri was his light.


End file.
